I don't know where to begin or how to fully explain my faith into well-formulated sentences that make sense to anyone who can't read my mind.. but I'm going to try.
My belief in God goes way beyond attributing him for the "daily coincidences" or the "right place at the right time" moments that happen to me day to day. I see God in literally everything. It didn't just come naturally after I committed my life to Him, though.
This semester, I started this daily routine where I wake up at the butt-crack of dawn (okay, not really, it's actually like 7 a.m., but still..) and I have quiet time. Sometimes I get ready for the day and head to Starbucks or go to my school's dining hall. Other times I literally sit in the hallway of my dorm with a cup of coffee. I read my Bible, pray, write in my journal, occasionally add in soft worship music, and just be still--for about an hour.
Growing up, I had always looked at older Christian influences in my life and assumed that they were super spiritual and probably had a 3 hour quiet time every single day. So, naturally, I'd always wanted to be like that--someone that people can look at and say "wow, she must be really close with God." However, the term "quiet time" that most Christians use to describe their time alone with God had always intimidated me. I thought I could pray anywhere at anytime? What do you mean I have to sit still for long periods of time for God to listen to me? Is a half hour of my time really worth the sacrifice of having a close relationship? These questions always tore me away from praying at all, for a very long time. I had always thought that being the Christian I wanted to be took too much work and that I was perfectly content in my spiritual life with only believing.
When a person becomes "saved," I feel like there's this weird assumption that their life dramatically turns around in the complete opposite direction right that second and they become this super great Christian with this wonderfully inspiring testimony.. but that is hardly ever the case. In my own life, I probably couldn't point out the day I became a believer in God nor could I give you the year, or where it happened. I didn't have a life-changing moment at the alter or a significant spiritual conversation with a believer that made me realize that I need God in my life. Nothing great happened.. I just, grew up in church.
I have mentioned this in previous posts, but because I grew up going to church (and liking it?!), all of my non-Christian friends new me as "the church girl" or "the one who would probably just die if she even laid eyes on a bottle of alcohol before she turned 21." Because of the way most people labeled me, I painted this picture in my mind of myself as "the perfect Christian" and that "nothing I did in my life could cause me to be wrong with God." As long as everyone else knows I believe in God, I should be good, right? Like, isn't that what "living for God" is? And people can see that, so doesn't that mean I'm also advancing the kingdom of God? I'm fulfilling my purpose on Earth, right? Right???? Yeah... no.
I think it's safe to say that no matter how old you are, you're always learning, always observing and always changing. Your life will never be a constant of anything. I've learned quickly that spiritual life evolves in the say way. I think it's healthy to have questions about religion, not know answers to a lot of things, and sometimes dislike certain aspects of it. Of course, that doesn't mean these doubts or frustrations should cause you stray further from the source.. or in this case, God. They should cause you to investigate. Faith is believing in something without seeing it or needing tangible proof that it exists. Not knowing the answer to a lot of spiritual-based questions but still believing with your entirety in God and His plans, is faith.
So wait - why do I get up so early? Having 9:10 / 9:45 classes all week can be brutal if you're waking up 10 minutes before class, rolling out of bed and scrambling to get yourself ready in time. Suddenly, that person who didn't hold the door for you is on your hit list and if looks could kill, that kid in your math class talking way too loud to the person behind them might as well be dead.. 8 times.
I found myself having this problem a lot last year. My earliest classes turned out to be my least favorite and anyone who interacted with me for more than 5 minutes before 11a.m. probably thought I was the world's biggest jerk. I wanted desperately to change this but knew I couldn't do it by my own power. I became obsessed with the thought of becoming "a better person."
A few weeks ago, when my wonderful mentor brought up the idea of having a daily quiet time, 19 years of shunning that term boiled in my blood and it took everything in me to not run away from the scene. Are you crazy? I have five classes to take every week, a job on campus, a weekly radio show to prep for, and a leadership position in the Christian fellowship. Do I really have time to set apart specific time for God? Well, the answer was yes. Apparently you're never too busy for God. I began to think of all the times during the day when I'm not doing anything that I could set aside 15-30 minutes for personal spiritual growth. Since my schedule is different from day to day, I knew quiet time would never become routine if it wasn't at the same time.
Deciding to wake up 2 hours before my first class, daily, was such a huge deal for me. Anyone who knows me knows that I definitely am not a morning person. Like I said, I can't really function before 11a.m. However, over the course of training myself to wake up early, I learned to love it. It's amazing how much spending time with Jesus can change your outlook on life.
If I can set apart time to hang out and spend time with my friends, why couldn't I do the same thing with Jesus?
I love my quiet time because it always reminds me that God should always be the first thing on my mind every day (and in every circumstance)--even when it's super early in the morning and you've got 3 midterms coming at you in just a few hours that you know you didn't study enough for.
A few days ago, one of the students on campus crashed their car into the side of one of the academic buildings. The first thing I did when I heard what had happened, was pray. I knew God was looking over the driver, her passenger, everyone in the classroom that got hit, and even the officers consoling her but I also knew that in the midst of everyone making jokes about this horrific situation, at least one person had to ask God for healing. Thankfully, no one was injured and everyone walked away from the scene.
Last weekend I swiped into my building after classes only to find a girl carrying (what seemed to be) her half of the contents of her dorm, down the stairs. I offered to help. She politely declined my offer.. but instead of shrugging and walking up another flight of stairs to my dorm to escape the crappy week I was having, I followed her down to the ground floor and held the doors for her since she didn't have any hands left. She was so happy to tell me she had been carrying things to her car all day and I was the only one who bothered to hold the door for her.
My definition of becoming a better version of myself gradually went from "being friendly to every person I make eye contact with because that person might be having a crappy day" to "being friendly to every person I make eye contact with because God loves them just as much as He loves me even though they don't know Him."
It's so humbling to see that God doesn't love me any more than the girl down the hall who practices voodoo (for example) even though I'm an active member of the Christian fellowship group on my university's campus who also wakes up an hour and a half earlier than I have to, just to spend time with Him.
I mean, think about it. The friend you spend the most time with, know the most about, and have the closest relationship with, is probably your best friend. Jesus doesn't play that game. He doesn't pick favorites and he doesn't put anyone on a higher pedestal. He is the perfect best friend, role model, Lord, savior, and father we never had.
I know that I've got a lot of room for improvement and of course I know that I'll never be perfect, but Jesus changed my life.
I'm a happier person. And for the first time in my life, I love the direction I'm headed in.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Fear of The Christian Label
So just as a warning, this is going to sound more like an unorganized rant than a blog post, but whatever.
I can't really pinpoint when it happened but sometime during high school, my core group of (non-christian) friends found out I was a Christian. Ohh, so that's why she doesn't curse. I don't want to say I was made fun of, because it never bothered me, but I was called the "church girl" or "the christian" on (what seemed to be) a regular basis. For a while this was awesome to me. Everyone knew not to invite me to parties, offer me alcohol, ask to copy my homework, or ask my opinion on controversial topics. Everyone already knew my answer. I took a lot of pride in being known as the Christian. At some point I think I even started using it as an excuse for practically everything.
But as soon as someone saw my bad side or as soon as I started trash talking somebody, I got the classic phrase "wait, aren't you a Christian?" or "Woah Emily, what would Jesus do?"
For sometime I thought this was humbling. Oh, my friends know how careful I am about my relationship with God so they're just keeping me accountable, right? I was feeling like I had to live up to the image of Christianity that my friends - and the world - thought it was.
Being a Christian doesn't mean I never get my feelings hurt, or that I never lie to people. Loving Jesus and valuing our relationship doesn't make me think I'm perfect.
Graduating high school and moving on was weird because I was entering a place where no one knew my religious background. I wasn't sure how to approach that. I wanted people to know, but I didn't want to be the "perfect, too-good-for-everyone" christian that I was considered in high school. The first couple weeks of school I was invited to many parties, and offered a lot of things that I turned down. But this was expected. Most freshman tend to go overboard with all of this new-found freedom. As much as I didn't want to involve myself in any kind of religious group and maintain the reputation I had in high school, I certainly didn't want to be involved with the party crowd. Nothing against them as people, I just didn't want to choose what they chose to dedicate their life to for the time being.
Long story short, I quickly found myself getting heavily involved in a Christian fellowship group on campus. It seems that I was always involved with/ talking about this club that pretty soon, anyone who had ever talked to me on campus knew exactly what I believed in and who I was living my life for. Some people started to think they could change me, or that I was too good and they needed to level me out and take me to a party or two. Others reacted how everyone reacted towards me in high school.
No one wants to be judged for who they are, but if me being labeled as a Christian is going to scare people from offering me excessive amounts of alcohol, I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you.
But as soon as someone thinks that I'm judging them based on their choices, that's when I get offended. Who am I to judge you? That's not my job. That's definitely not why I'm here.
I've encountered a couple of people recently who, upon learning my Christian background, thought they weren't "religious" or "God-fearing" enough to be my friend. As if I only associated myself with Christians and/ or thought anyone else did not deserve to be around me. So untrue. Hearing stuff like this breaks my heart.
I'm going to live my whole life knowing that I'm not in any way, shape or form worthy of being accepted by my God, but he loves me unconditionally regardless. Why should I expect my friends to try and be good enough for me? That would be completely hypocritical and not like me.
Ultimately, I know that I was born in this country, at this specific time in the history of the Earth, to fulfill God's purpose. He can't be down here with us. The only thing he could do to reach his creation was send his son Jesus, in the flesh, and now it's my job (as well as my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ) to preach the good news and spread Godly loved to every single person we encounter daily.
It's so cliche to say that "I'm not perfect" and "I will make mistakes" but as soon as the face of Christianity is soiled for someone because of something I said or did, I feel too much pressure to fix it. I'm slowly realizing that I don't always have to fix my mistakes for the sake of other people as long as I am right with God. And that is the most comforting feeling.
Another thing I noticed during my first year of college is that anyone will straight out talk to you about how much alcohol they've had, drugs they've experimented with, laws they've broken, things they've done with their boyfriend/ girlfriend, etc. Anything you want to know is practically yours to find out.
UNTIL they find out your a Christian. Automatically it's like oh she doesn't drink so she has no idea what I'm talking about or she's waiting until marriage, she doesn't know what this means and most often since she doesn't curse I feel the need to explain what this curse word means. Like hello I'm almost 19 years old. Yes I can be treated like a normal adult and yes I prefer that. I'm not any less informed about the world than you because I view it differently.
Sooooo yes, I am a Christian. But no, that doesn't mean you can hold everything I do against me. It also doesn't mean that I ask myself what Jesus would do before every decision I make.
I guess I'm just sick of people assuming before they actually know what I stand for. I can say for sure that about 98% of the people I've ever talked to about Christianity made assumptions about my life without asking me what I believe it stands for and how I live it out accordingly. And that has changed and shaped my relationships dramatically.
I can't really pinpoint when it happened but sometime during high school, my core group of (non-christian) friends found out I was a Christian. Ohh, so that's why she doesn't curse. I don't want to say I was made fun of, because it never bothered me, but I was called the "church girl" or "the christian" on (what seemed to be) a regular basis. For a while this was awesome to me. Everyone knew not to invite me to parties, offer me alcohol, ask to copy my homework, or ask my opinion on controversial topics. Everyone already knew my answer. I took a lot of pride in being known as the Christian. At some point I think I even started using it as an excuse for practically everything.
But as soon as someone saw my bad side or as soon as I started trash talking somebody, I got the classic phrase "wait, aren't you a Christian?" or "Woah Emily, what would Jesus do?"
For sometime I thought this was humbling. Oh, my friends know how careful I am about my relationship with God so they're just keeping me accountable, right? I was feeling like I had to live up to the image of Christianity that my friends - and the world - thought it was.
Being a Christian doesn't mean I never get my feelings hurt, or that I never lie to people. Loving Jesus and valuing our relationship doesn't make me think I'm perfect.
Graduating high school and moving on was weird because I was entering a place where no one knew my religious background. I wasn't sure how to approach that. I wanted people to know, but I didn't want to be the "perfect, too-good-for-everyone" christian that I was considered in high school. The first couple weeks of school I was invited to many parties, and offered a lot of things that I turned down. But this was expected. Most freshman tend to go overboard with all of this new-found freedom. As much as I didn't want to involve myself in any kind of religious group and maintain the reputation I had in high school, I certainly didn't want to be involved with the party crowd. Nothing against them as people, I just didn't want to choose what they chose to dedicate their life to for the time being.
Long story short, I quickly found myself getting heavily involved in a Christian fellowship group on campus. It seems that I was always involved with/ talking about this club that pretty soon, anyone who had ever talked to me on campus knew exactly what I believed in and who I was living my life for. Some people started to think they could change me, or that I was too good and they needed to level me out and take me to a party or two. Others reacted how everyone reacted towards me in high school.
No one wants to be judged for who they are, but if me being labeled as a Christian is going to scare people from offering me excessive amounts of alcohol, I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you.
But as soon as someone thinks that I'm judging them based on their choices, that's when I get offended. Who am I to judge you? That's not my job. That's definitely not why I'm here.
I've encountered a couple of people recently who, upon learning my Christian background, thought they weren't "religious" or "God-fearing" enough to be my friend. As if I only associated myself with Christians and/ or thought anyone else did not deserve to be around me. So untrue. Hearing stuff like this breaks my heart.
I'm going to live my whole life knowing that I'm not in any way, shape or form worthy of being accepted by my God, but he loves me unconditionally regardless. Why should I expect my friends to try and be good enough for me? That would be completely hypocritical and not like me.
Ultimately, I know that I was born in this country, at this specific time in the history of the Earth, to fulfill God's purpose. He can't be down here with us. The only thing he could do to reach his creation was send his son Jesus, in the flesh, and now it's my job (as well as my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ) to preach the good news and spread Godly loved to every single person we encounter daily.
It's so cliche to say that "I'm not perfect" and "I will make mistakes" but as soon as the face of Christianity is soiled for someone because of something I said or did, I feel too much pressure to fix it. I'm slowly realizing that I don't always have to fix my mistakes for the sake of other people as long as I am right with God. And that is the most comforting feeling.
Another thing I noticed during my first year of college is that anyone will straight out talk to you about how much alcohol they've had, drugs they've experimented with, laws they've broken, things they've done with their boyfriend/ girlfriend, etc. Anything you want to know is practically yours to find out.
UNTIL they find out your a Christian. Automatically it's like oh she doesn't drink so she has no idea what I'm talking about or she's waiting until marriage, she doesn't know what this means and most often since she doesn't curse I feel the need to explain what this curse word means. Like hello I'm almost 19 years old. Yes I can be treated like a normal adult and yes I prefer that. I'm not any less informed about the world than you because I view it differently.
Sooooo yes, I am a Christian. But no, that doesn't mean you can hold everything I do against me. It also doesn't mean that I ask myself what Jesus would do before every decision I make.
I guess I'm just sick of people assuming before they actually know what I stand for. I can say for sure that about 98% of the people I've ever talked to about Christianity made assumptions about my life without asking me what I believe it stands for and how I live it out accordingly. And that has changed and shaped my relationships dramatically.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Music & My Life
They say you can tell a lot about a person when you look at the music on their iPod. In order to see how accurate this actually is, I put my iTunes on shuffle. Here are the first 15 that came on, without skipping a single one.
1. The Bastards, The Vultures, The Wolves - The Wonder Years
The Wonder Years are completely wonderful. Seeing them live probably changed my life a little. If I had to describe my taste in music using 3 artists, TWY would definitely be one of them.
2. My Lighthouse - Rend Collective
Ever since seeing this band live, I've loved their style. I've been trying really hard to listen to more Christian music because I've found that I really enjoy the stuff that I already have on my phone. These guys are one of my favorites. 10/10 would definitely recommend.
3. Million Dollar Houses (The Painter) - Pierce The Veil
Actually, I don't 100% know this song. PTV is one of those bands I was obsessed with for like, a month, but never bothered to learn every single song they've ever released. But of course I have it all on my phone, you know, just in case.
4. Complexes - Tonight Alive
I've discovered a weird love for female-fronted bands after hearing TA for the first time. Jenna McDougall is queen. Not to mention, they're Australian. Who doesn't love foreign bands?
5. Pompeii - Bastille
Come one, who doesn't have this song on their phone? #1 radio guilty pleasure, right here.
6. Holy Ground - Taylor Swift
I'm pretty sure there's a crazy high statistic about every teenage girl having Taylor Swift songs on their iPod. I can't relate to any of her songs but they're definitely super catchy. Plus she's an adorable human. Definitely in my top favorite solo artists.
7. Self-Conclusion - The Spill Canvas
Such a quality band, The Spill Canvas is. I honestly only started listening to them because one of my favorite bands talked about them all of the time, and I've only been completely impressed so far. This song is so beautiful yet so sad at the same time. And I love that.
8. My Last Semester - The Wonder Years
TWY round two. Duh. They're great. This song is great. One of my favorites on this list for sure.
9. Lucky - Action Item
I used to be like, totally obsessed with Action Item back in my Allstar Weekend days. This song is over a year old but I don't think I could ever delete any their stuff even though I hardly listen to it. The entire Resolution album was definitely a good one. I listened to it in my car every day for a few months when it came out, during my senior year of high school.
10. Fall Down (feat. Miley Cyrus) - will.i.am
WELL DUH. If you know anything about me at all, it's that I'm in love with Miley Cyrus. Of course I have every single piece of mp3 greatness that she has graced with her outstanding vocal chords with, on my phone. Despite the fact that it's not actually her song, it's a total jam.
11. Hold On, We're Going Home feat. Majid Jordan - Drake
Okay, let's be honest. I make fun of people who listen to Drake all of the time. But I also may or may not have all of his albums. And I may or may not secretly listen to them all of the time. He's okay, I guess.
12. Keep You With Me - Hot Chelle Rae
Hot Chelle Rae?? This is usually a song I would skip on shuffle. I think keeping their music on my phone is because I refuse to let go of bands that used to be one of my favorites - no matter how long ago it was when I was into them.
13. Miss Jackson ft. Lolo - Panic! At The Disco
I LOVE PANIC! AT THE DISCO. Interesting that this song was one of the first on shuffle, it's one of the best off their newest album. I remember the first time I heard this song.. Ha ha ha. Interesting story. Remind me to tell you about it sometime.. Maybe, if you're lucky.
14. Violet - Paradise Fears
PF is definitely my favorite band and I'm honestly surprised they only came up once in the first fifteen. Violet is an older song of theirs - their music has taken a different route in the past year but I've obviously kept their old stuff. Because it's literal gold.
15. A Wake (feat. Evan Roman) - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Literally do not underestimate my love for Macklemore. I can probably recite every single lyric of his right on point if you ask me nicely. 100% favorite rapper in the entire game. No need for further discussion.
To an extent, I think this is a pretty accurate description of my taste in music. From bands I was obsessed with in high school, to rap, to Taylor Swift and alternative/ pop punk, that just about sums it up.
On the other hand, this list seems to lack Bring Me The Horizon, Of Mice And Men, The Summer Set, Megan & Liz, plus so many more other diverse bands/ artists that I listen to on a regular basis. I don't want to be that kid and say I listen to all types of music, but I'm definitely not opposed to trying anything.
1. The Bastards, The Vultures, The Wolves - The Wonder Years
The Wonder Years are completely wonderful. Seeing them live probably changed my life a little. If I had to describe my taste in music using 3 artists, TWY would definitely be one of them.
2. My Lighthouse - Rend Collective
Ever since seeing this band live, I've loved their style. I've been trying really hard to listen to more Christian music because I've found that I really enjoy the stuff that I already have on my phone. These guys are one of my favorites. 10/10 would definitely recommend.
3. Million Dollar Houses (The Painter) - Pierce The Veil
Actually, I don't 100% know this song. PTV is one of those bands I was obsessed with for like, a month, but never bothered to learn every single song they've ever released. But of course I have it all on my phone, you know, just in case.
4. Complexes - Tonight Alive
I've discovered a weird love for female-fronted bands after hearing TA for the first time. Jenna McDougall is queen. Not to mention, they're Australian. Who doesn't love foreign bands?
5. Pompeii - Bastille
Come one, who doesn't have this song on their phone? #1 radio guilty pleasure, right here.
6. Holy Ground - Taylor Swift
I'm pretty sure there's a crazy high statistic about every teenage girl having Taylor Swift songs on their iPod. I can't relate to any of her songs but they're definitely super catchy. Plus she's an adorable human. Definitely in my top favorite solo artists.
7. Self-Conclusion - The Spill Canvas
Such a quality band, The Spill Canvas is. I honestly only started listening to them because one of my favorite bands talked about them all of the time, and I've only been completely impressed so far. This song is so beautiful yet so sad at the same time. And I love that.
8. My Last Semester - The Wonder Years
TWY round two. Duh. They're great. This song is great. One of my favorites on this list for sure.
9. Lucky - Action Item
I used to be like, totally obsessed with Action Item back in my Allstar Weekend days. This song is over a year old but I don't think I could ever delete any their stuff even though I hardly listen to it. The entire Resolution album was definitely a good one. I listened to it in my car every day for a few months when it came out, during my senior year of high school.
10. Fall Down (feat. Miley Cyrus) - will.i.am
WELL DUH. If you know anything about me at all, it's that I'm in love with Miley Cyrus. Of course I have every single piece of mp3 greatness that she has graced with her outstanding vocal chords with, on my phone. Despite the fact that it's not actually her song, it's a total jam.
11. Hold On, We're Going Home feat. Majid Jordan - Drake
Okay, let's be honest. I make fun of people who listen to Drake all of the time. But I also may or may not have all of his albums. And I may or may not secretly listen to them all of the time. He's okay, I guess.
12. Keep You With Me - Hot Chelle Rae
Hot Chelle Rae?? This is usually a song I would skip on shuffle. I think keeping their music on my phone is because I refuse to let go of bands that used to be one of my favorites - no matter how long ago it was when I was into them.
13. Miss Jackson ft. Lolo - Panic! At The Disco
I LOVE PANIC! AT THE DISCO. Interesting that this song was one of the first on shuffle, it's one of the best off their newest album. I remember the first time I heard this song.. Ha ha ha. Interesting story. Remind me to tell you about it sometime.. Maybe, if you're lucky.
14. Violet - Paradise Fears
PF is definitely my favorite band and I'm honestly surprised they only came up once in the first fifteen. Violet is an older song of theirs - their music has taken a different route in the past year but I've obviously kept their old stuff. Because it's literal gold.
15. A Wake (feat. Evan Roman) - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Literally do not underestimate my love for Macklemore. I can probably recite every single lyric of his right on point if you ask me nicely. 100% favorite rapper in the entire game. No need for further discussion.
To an extent, I think this is a pretty accurate description of my taste in music. From bands I was obsessed with in high school, to rap, to Taylor Swift and alternative/ pop punk, that just about sums it up.
On the other hand, this list seems to lack Bring Me The Horizon, Of Mice And Men, The Summer Set, Megan & Liz, plus so many more other diverse bands/ artists that I listen to on a regular basis. I don't want to be that kid and say I listen to all types of music, but I'm definitely not opposed to trying anything.
Monday, June 23, 2014
The Over-Worked Student
Going into high school, I was like, man I'm going to be valedictorian of my graduating class. I'm a smart kid because I'm good at math! - But that was 8th grade graduate Emily talking illogically to herself.
No, I wasn't put in all honors classes during my first year of high school, but that never bothered me. Until now.
I took honors biology which was, ya know, kind of a big deal. And I was put in geometry. Most freshman took Algebra but I took that in the 8th grade. Anyway, I felt smart. I was a straight A student in middle school and a member of the National Junior Honor Society. Nothing in my life told me I couldn't achieve that 4.0 and beyond during my entire high school career.
This past semester of college I took Sociology. One of the few things I choose to still remember from that course was the chapter on education. It taught us that the way we behave in elementary school affects our placement in middle school; our performance in middle school ultimately creates our high school schedule; and the GPA we graduate high school with will, in fact, alter the affordability of college and/ or choose the university that we attend. I never completely grasped this concept until it became clear in this chapter. We obviously don't know it when we're 8 years old but the way we choose to act then can dramatically alter our lives in the next 10 years and beyond. Reading that, I remembered blaming my (very young) self for not ultimately becoming "the smart kid" in high school. So what happened? Why did middle-school-graduate Emily have more hope than about-to-graduate-high-school-and-go-away-to-a-college-that-she-was-still-sort-of-uncertain-about Emily? Well, I'll tell ya.
Freshman year was weird. It was a year of adjustment and learning. Not just learning by cramming useless information into my brain, but learning that life is a competition. Middle school Emily was very heartbroken to find out that she was not considered "smart" in this new place. Being placed into honors history for sophomore year of course gave me a huge confidence boost--but was it enough? I was only in two high level classes (science, and now history) and still one year ahead of most of my class in math.
Sophomore year changed my life. Somehow, some way, by some weird twist of fate, I ended up sitting with four of the smartest people in my entire grade at lunch. I had been acquaintances with some of them and we had a lot of mutual friends in middle school. Long story short, we all became good friends that year. Through them (and partially my honors classes) I started to become close friends with all of the really smart kids.
After learning to hate history, I dropped the honors, completely disregarded the thought of taking AP, and stuck to what I could handle. I remember feeling like my world was crumbling underneath me everyday in that class. I couldn't handle the heartbreak of failing another test that all of my friends were getting perfect scores on. (Literally. This is no exaggeration.) I was never one to be good at studying. No matter how hard I tried--and believe me, I tried so hard--I could not retain any information. I couldn't memorize facts or tell you what any of the 44(?) presidents accomplished. Everyone in high school had me convinced that I wasn't smart just because I couldn't retain that kind of information.
I ended up taking an AP Environmental class my junior year which was the absolute worst decision of my entire life, to this day. I was definitely not made to go through that kind of pressure. Like I mentioned, this was all especially hard for me when I saw all of my closest friends taking all AP classes and still getting A's. Why couldn't I handle one?
Yeah, I was inducted to National Honor Society and National World Language Honor Society, but I never once felt smart. I went all 4 years with such a broken mentality regarding my capabilities that by the time I was a senior, I had absolutely no clue what I was going to do with my life. I'm not good at anything.
Most of my classes through high school were not easy. I could have never imagined taking them a step up into AP. However, I did have many teachers who asked why I wasn't in a higher level class. To me, this was crazy. I never scored below an A on a paper that I wrote in high school and I always picked up on every math lesson immediately. I was completely content and happy not stressing myself out and doing well in all of my classes. Why should I try and define myself as "smart" by overworking my brain and allowing more stress into my life? That was the absolute last thing I wanted. I decided AP/ honors classes would ultimately drag my GPA down to the pits of Hell and therefore dramatically limit my college entry rate. Illogical? Maybe. But not at the time.
I took a video production class my senior year solely because I needed the extra elective after dropping my history class. (We only needed 3 years of history). Despite not knowing a soul in that class and having to work on group project after group project with two sophomores I actually really, really loved it. I was good at it. Something about drawing out a movie, setting up the cameras and finding the perfect angles for the shots, and finally editing everything together was so much fun for me. I felt like I had so much freedom to express myself through editing in a studio. I remember leaving that class on my last day of high school. My teacher pulled me aside and told me never to give up video editing, which I thought was pretty weird at the time. He told me I was one of his favorite students that year. It made me feel really good. Looking at it now, I realize that I kind of took that class like a joke. Nothing was serious about it for me. I just wanted to graduate high school. I didn't know that this was something I wanted to do with my life.
Being an expert on something like video production, photoshop, photography, cooking, inventing, painting, or designing is not "good" enough to land you a spot on stage at your high school graduation as valedictorian. And that is okay.
If I learned anything at all from high school, it's that you don't have to score perfectly on the SAT to know you're a genius.
So what, I wasn't the best in the sciences during high school. That's the beauty of college. I got to choose something I can be successful in. I'm going to be just as successful in the field of Communications as someone really good at Biology will be in their field. In my eyes, neither of us is smarter than the other.
Some people are blessed with amazing precision, accuracy, memory, and technique. These people are potential future surgeons, doctors, and nurses. Others are born with sincerity, social skills, and understanding. I think these people would make the best psychologists, guidance counselors, and personal aides.
I was given the gift of creativity and the ability to do things with my imagination. I love social media. Some people would tell me that this "obsession" is ruining my life and that I need to pick up a book and read. That's wrong to me. I love it because I understand it. I know that I can be an amazing edition to any company when I graduate college because I'll be an expert in something that I absolutely love doing. Even if I don't graduate with a degree in PR, I know for a fact that it won't be in education, chemistry, or calculus. Each and every day, every second I spend scrolling on my iPhone is learning experience for me. I'm taking glimpses into the rest of my life. What's trending on Twitter, popular on Instagram, or being raved about on Tumblr is all important to me. I like to keep up with the latest apps and know what people are talking about all over the world. Maybe I am obsessed with technology. If I was obsessed with reading text books and learning every bone in the body, I may come off as smart and determined to a lot of people. So why is this situation different? Why am I being viewed as lazy?
The pressures of high school really messed up my mentality and it's not fair that it took me 18 years to figure it all out. To this day, absolutely nothing bothers me more than being compared to someone taking all AP classes in high school. I hate to see other students looking down on themselves for this reason, too. Your potential is definitely not measured by a piece of paper with some numbers and percentages.
I could not be happier to be doing something that I love to do. I'm having a blast in college. If I had gone into Rider as a biology major, I know for sure I would not be happy. I can only pray that others will see the potential in themselves quicker than I saw it in me.
No, I wasn't put in all honors classes during my first year of high school, but that never bothered me. Until now.
I took honors biology which was, ya know, kind of a big deal. And I was put in geometry. Most freshman took Algebra but I took that in the 8th grade. Anyway, I felt smart. I was a straight A student in middle school and a member of the National Junior Honor Society. Nothing in my life told me I couldn't achieve that 4.0 and beyond during my entire high school career.
This past semester of college I took Sociology. One of the few things I choose to still remember from that course was the chapter on education. It taught us that the way we behave in elementary school affects our placement in middle school; our performance in middle school ultimately creates our high school schedule; and the GPA we graduate high school with will, in fact, alter the affordability of college and/ or choose the university that we attend. I never completely grasped this concept until it became clear in this chapter. We obviously don't know it when we're 8 years old but the way we choose to act then can dramatically alter our lives in the next 10 years and beyond. Reading that, I remembered blaming my (very young) self for not ultimately becoming "the smart kid" in high school. So what happened? Why did middle-school-graduate Emily have more hope than about-to-graduate-high-school-and-go-away-to-a-college-that-she-was-still-sort-of-uncertain-about Emily? Well, I'll tell ya.
Freshman year was weird. It was a year of adjustment and learning. Not just learning by cramming useless information into my brain, but learning that life is a competition. Middle school Emily was very heartbroken to find out that she was not considered "smart" in this new place. Being placed into honors history for sophomore year of course gave me a huge confidence boost--but was it enough? I was only in two high level classes (science, and now history) and still one year ahead of most of my class in math.
Sophomore year changed my life. Somehow, some way, by some weird twist of fate, I ended up sitting with four of the smartest people in my entire grade at lunch. I had been acquaintances with some of them and we had a lot of mutual friends in middle school. Long story short, we all became good friends that year. Through them (and partially my honors classes) I started to become close friends with all of the really smart kids.
After learning to hate history, I dropped the honors, completely disregarded the thought of taking AP, and stuck to what I could handle. I remember feeling like my world was crumbling underneath me everyday in that class. I couldn't handle the heartbreak of failing another test that all of my friends were getting perfect scores on. (Literally. This is no exaggeration.) I was never one to be good at studying. No matter how hard I tried--and believe me, I tried so hard--I could not retain any information. I couldn't memorize facts or tell you what any of the 44(?) presidents accomplished. Everyone in high school had me convinced that I wasn't smart just because I couldn't retain that kind of information.
I ended up taking an AP Environmental class my junior year which was the absolute worst decision of my entire life, to this day. I was definitely not made to go through that kind of pressure. Like I mentioned, this was all especially hard for me when I saw all of my closest friends taking all AP classes and still getting A's. Why couldn't I handle one?
Yeah, I was inducted to National Honor Society and National World Language Honor Society, but I never once felt smart. I went all 4 years with such a broken mentality regarding my capabilities that by the time I was a senior, I had absolutely no clue what I was going to do with my life. I'm not good at anything.
Most of my classes through high school were not easy. I could have never imagined taking them a step up into AP. However, I did have many teachers who asked why I wasn't in a higher level class. To me, this was crazy. I never scored below an A on a paper that I wrote in high school and I always picked up on every math lesson immediately. I was completely content and happy not stressing myself out and doing well in all of my classes. Why should I try and define myself as "smart" by overworking my brain and allowing more stress into my life? That was the absolute last thing I wanted. I decided AP/ honors classes would ultimately drag my GPA down to the pits of Hell and therefore dramatically limit my college entry rate. Illogical? Maybe. But not at the time.
I took a video production class my senior year solely because I needed the extra elective after dropping my history class. (We only needed 3 years of history). Despite not knowing a soul in that class and having to work on group project after group project with two sophomores I actually really, really loved it. I was good at it. Something about drawing out a movie, setting up the cameras and finding the perfect angles for the shots, and finally editing everything together was so much fun for me. I felt like I had so much freedom to express myself through editing in a studio. I remember leaving that class on my last day of high school. My teacher pulled me aside and told me never to give up video editing, which I thought was pretty weird at the time. He told me I was one of his favorite students that year. It made me feel really good. Looking at it now, I realize that I kind of took that class like a joke. Nothing was serious about it for me. I just wanted to graduate high school. I didn't know that this was something I wanted to do with my life.
Being an expert on something like video production, photoshop, photography, cooking, inventing, painting, or designing is not "good" enough to land you a spot on stage at your high school graduation as valedictorian. And that is okay.
If I learned anything at all from high school, it's that you don't have to score perfectly on the SAT to know you're a genius.
So what, I wasn't the best in the sciences during high school. That's the beauty of college. I got to choose something I can be successful in. I'm going to be just as successful in the field of Communications as someone really good at Biology will be in their field. In my eyes, neither of us is smarter than the other.
Some people are blessed with amazing precision, accuracy, memory, and technique. These people are potential future surgeons, doctors, and nurses. Others are born with sincerity, social skills, and understanding. I think these people would make the best psychologists, guidance counselors, and personal aides.
I was given the gift of creativity and the ability to do things with my imagination. I love social media. Some people would tell me that this "obsession" is ruining my life and that I need to pick up a book and read. That's wrong to me. I love it because I understand it. I know that I can be an amazing edition to any company when I graduate college because I'll be an expert in something that I absolutely love doing. Even if I don't graduate with a degree in PR, I know for a fact that it won't be in education, chemistry, or calculus. Each and every day, every second I spend scrolling on my iPhone is learning experience for me. I'm taking glimpses into the rest of my life. What's trending on Twitter, popular on Instagram, or being raved about on Tumblr is all important to me. I like to keep up with the latest apps and know what people are talking about all over the world. Maybe I am obsessed with technology. If I was obsessed with reading text books and learning every bone in the body, I may come off as smart and determined to a lot of people. So why is this situation different? Why am I being viewed as lazy?
The pressures of high school really messed up my mentality and it's not fair that it took me 18 years to figure it all out. To this day, absolutely nothing bothers me more than being compared to someone taking all AP classes in high school. I hate to see other students looking down on themselves for this reason, too. Your potential is definitely not measured by a piece of paper with some numbers and percentages.
I could not be happier to be doing something that I love to do. I'm having a blast in college. If I had gone into Rider as a biology major, I know for sure I would not be happy. I can only pray that others will see the potential in themselves quicker than I saw it in me.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
THIS RAIN NEEDS TO NOT
This is about to turn into a real heated rant real fast.
So, Rider's campus is small.. About a 12 minute walk from one side of campus to the other. We don't need a bus to get to class and all of the buildings are within a decent walking distance.. On a good day.
Today was probably the rainiest, worst-weathered day this campus has seen all year. I used to love the rain. I liked to take pictures of windows with rain drops on them or sit outside in the rain for fun. It was never a burden to me. Until this year. Rain, snow, and even below freezing weather all discourage me from leaving my dorm building.
I got rain boots for Christmas. I never felt a need to have them in the past, and I couldn't understand why I needed them now.
But now, now I completely understand.
I don't know why, but Rider is literally the most uneven campus in probably the entire world but you can't tell when the sun is out and everything is dry. Days like today, you need a boat to get to class. I swear every single path around campus had some sort of 5 foot deep puddle in the middle of it. This totally wouldn't have been a problem a few months ago. I used to wear my rain boots every single time it rained, even when it drizzled. And everything was dandy. Somehow, somewhere in all of those days of utilizing them, they've accumulated holes--on the bottom, of course. Now stepping into any puddle over and inch deep results in soggy feet for the rest of the day. The worst feeling in the world.
Nothing was worse, though, when I walked to class in the pouring rain and realized that my backpack flap was open and my stuff was soaked.. Later I discovered that wearing my backpack on my chest prevented it from getting wet when I was using an umbrella. Try it sometime.
To top it off, I had a lot to do and a lot of places to be today. That meant a lot of walking. In crappy weather like this, campus seems to grow 40x in length and the desire to walk anywhere is nonexistent.
With all of that in mind, a couple of weeks ago I brought home my winter jacket--the only jacket I have that is almost completely water resistant and capable of keeping me warm in this weather (and that has a hood that covers all of my head). I had to double up with hoodies and leather jackets because it was raining and cold. That meant a lot of layers, a lot of things to carry and a lot of places to walk. Just not a good day.
But apparently it's supposed to be sunny tomorrow?! I hope so.
I don't know how much more of this weather I can take. I have a feeling Summer isn't going to happen this year. (Or even Spring for that matter)
Cross your fingers.
So, Rider's campus is small.. About a 12 minute walk from one side of campus to the other. We don't need a bus to get to class and all of the buildings are within a decent walking distance.. On a good day.
Today was probably the rainiest, worst-weathered day this campus has seen all year. I used to love the rain. I liked to take pictures of windows with rain drops on them or sit outside in the rain for fun. It was never a burden to me. Until this year. Rain, snow, and even below freezing weather all discourage me from leaving my dorm building.
I got rain boots for Christmas. I never felt a need to have them in the past, and I couldn't understand why I needed them now.
But now, now I completely understand.
I don't know why, but Rider is literally the most uneven campus in probably the entire world but you can't tell when the sun is out and everything is dry. Days like today, you need a boat to get to class. I swear every single path around campus had some sort of 5 foot deep puddle in the middle of it. This totally wouldn't have been a problem a few months ago. I used to wear my rain boots every single time it rained, even when it drizzled. And everything was dandy. Somehow, somewhere in all of those days of utilizing them, they've accumulated holes--on the bottom, of course. Now stepping into any puddle over and inch deep results in soggy feet for the rest of the day. The worst feeling in the world.
Nothing was worse, though, when I walked to class in the pouring rain and realized that my backpack flap was open and my stuff was soaked.. Later I discovered that wearing my backpack on my chest prevented it from getting wet when I was using an umbrella. Try it sometime.
To top it off, I had a lot to do and a lot of places to be today. That meant a lot of walking. In crappy weather like this, campus seems to grow 40x in length and the desire to walk anywhere is nonexistent.
With all of that in mind, a couple of weeks ago I brought home my winter jacket--the only jacket I have that is almost completely water resistant and capable of keeping me warm in this weather (and that has a hood that covers all of my head). I had to double up with hoodies and leather jackets because it was raining and cold. That meant a lot of layers, a lot of things to carry and a lot of places to walk. Just not a good day.
But apparently it's supposed to be sunny tomorrow?! I hope so.
I don't know how much more of this weather I can take. I have a feeling Summer isn't going to happen this year. (Or even Spring for that matter)
Cross your fingers.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Missions on Campus
Christian missionaries around the globe tend to travel long and far to reach out to poor communities, repair damaged property, build water wells in 3rd world countries, and even hold secret church meetings in places where it is illegal to practice Christianity. They fundraise for months, maybe even years, so that they can embark on these endeavors. For this reason, almost every Christian thinks that in order to fulfill a "mission" they must gather thousands of dollars, fly themselves, with a church group, to another country, and do labor all day, everyday. Missions trips like those are great - they give us Christians a chance to show God's love through the kindness of giving up our time and physical aid to those who need it.
Commonly, though, a lot of Christians my age seem to neglect the mission field in their backyard. For me, the backyard is my school campus. The mission field here is endless.
I never got a chance to understand that concept until this year. Since serving with The River (InterVarsity Christian Fellowship), I started to become more aware of life outside of the "Christian bubble." There could be someone living down the hall from me that has never heard of Jesus, the Bible, or Christianity--at all. This was new to me.
As a fellowship, we've seen how important it is to address this. As a Christian, God has put so many people in my life who have planted the seed, watered it, sat me to the sunlight, and gave me the nutrients to grow into the daughter of Christ that I am.
I want to help plant that seed on Rider's campus. Next year I have been called to serve on the leadership team for my fellowship - a position that is really important to me. I want my campus to be exposed to a better life with Christ, just as I have been.
In order to prepare for the up and coming school year, my leadership team and I will be attending Basileia (a student leadership conference in upstate New York) from May 17th - 22nd. We will leave the week-long training more equipped and ready to go out and evangelize to our campus and spread the love of Christ. I'll also get to grow in my own personal relationship with God in order to become a more developed leader.
Would you invest in my leadership development & spiritual formation?
Here are two ways you can:
1. Prayer.
During Basileia: for unity, transformation & clarity as we hear from God and plan for the next school year.
After Basileia: that we put what we've learned into practice and continue to seek God as we go forward!
2. Financial support: The cost of the trip is $375. Included in the costs are room & board, excellent training, and the opportunity to get away from the business of life and hear from God in community. (For details you can contact me, Emily Kelley).
Sunday, April 27, 2014
From Tumblr to Roommate
Just like any soon-to-be high school graduate, I was very excited to send in my tuition deposit for the school I'd be attending for the next four years. This is a big deal. I picked this school all by myself. My choice.
Anyway, so I posted it on Tumblr. Why? Who knows. Like I said, I was happy.
(In case you need proof that I'm not lying)
Anyway, so I posted it on Tumblr. Why? Who knows. Like I said, I was happy.
(In case you need proof that I'm not lying)
Shortly after posting this (April 28, 2013), I get a message in my ask box. I don't remember exactly what it said but it was from this girl who was also going to Rider as freshman. I kind of creeped on her blog a lot and I noticed that she reblogged a lot of the bands that I like (actually just a lot of All Time Low). I decided then that she was cool and we could be friends. After trying to communicate via Tumblr ask box for a few days, we added each other on Facebook and followed each other on Twitter. Here's our first conversation:
I look back at our Facebook messages now and just laugh. I don't actually talk like that. And I don't remember what her profile picture was. I think it was someone from All Time Low. Oh and don't forget the classic ;D I added to that... Actually, yeah, forget all about that. Let's move on.
During the process of talking to Delaney, I was also talking to about three other people, desperately hoping to make friends before moving into school. This was a really weird thing for me. What if I liked someone enough to room with them? Should I ask? What if they don't want to? Would they say yes because they feel guilty? .....This was starting to sound like a really complicated relationship status.
After a while, I kind of just stopped talking to the other three girls. Delaney was all I had left and I was scared she hated me. Obviously, she didn't. I remember very vividly the day we became "official."
I was on my senior trip in Disney world. My friends and I were on a monorail to Epcot and I got this message:
So there's that. We exchanged phone numbers and accepted each other as "roommates" on our housing application and now we live happily ever after in a tiny freshman dorm room on the third floor. (Did you know that heat RISES?)
Living with someone is weird at first. Especially if you're not very talkative, like me. I got used to it quickly, though, and now I find it even weirder when I go home to not have someone to talk to at 2 a.m.
The roommate process didn't freak me out as much as I thought it would. I think I just got really lucky. And if Delaney had never messaged me, I don't know who I would be sharing a room with or if I would have ever been friends with her.
Taking risks is a good thing. You just never know. The worst someone can say is "no."
And I'm glad I didn't :)
Look how cute we are.
P.S. We also attempted a YouTube channel! ---> http://www.youtube.com/user/emandde
I know, we don't update much. Just - be patient. We're still getting used to this college thing.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Fear of Responsibility
I hate to say it but I actually consider myself a very lazy person. I think I developed this terrible habit somewhere in high school. I refused to take honors/ AP classes (after a bad experience) even when I had the grades to and I wasn't really involved with any clubs. I was a little bit during my freshman year--but it all went downhill from there.
Trying new things has always made me really, really anxious. I hate going to new places without someone I know and I always get nervous talking to new people. This has effected me my entire life so I guess I've gotten used to it.
But I bet you could guess how high my anxiety levels were, moving into college. Completely new people, totally different atmosphere, way more opportunities, and the pressure to get involved in as much as possible. I mean, I only have 4 years at this school. 4 years. is. absolutely. nothing. I can't just sit on my butt all day and not go out and take advantage of the campus while I'm here.
In the fall, I made it my mission to join as many clubs as I could. I signed up to join a lot of different things: InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, photography club, the school radio station, the TV studio, adventure club, student entertainment council, and probably a bunch more that I don't remember off the top of my head.
Unfortunately only a few of those clubs emailed me back, so those were the only ones I really got involved with.
This semester and last I got a job with Bronc Vision. It is almost the perfect job for a communication student like me. We basically shoot, broadcast and control all of the technology behind the basketball games, wresting matches, volleyball matches, etc. Whenever there was a game, I was always busy doing that.
I also helped film a segment for "Backstage Story", a music news program on the school's TV network, called "Alternative Route."
I joined photography club for a day. Then I got an email about the business fraternity needing a photographer for the semester. I'm not really a photographer and my camera isn't really the best but I decided to go for it. Almost every week, on Tuesdays, I spent an hour photographing some professional business person for them--at least I was getting paid, right?
My favorite organization, and probably the only one that, to this day, does not make me feel anxious about, is InterVarsity. Every Wednesday night we have "large group"--a time for us to come together to worship God and hear a short sermon. I also joined a Bible study, lead by one of my friends from high school, on Monday nights. I have done so so so much with the fellowship that I would love to talk about but I shall save that as another post for another day. :) Anyway, starting next year, I was chosen as business coordinator for the fellowship and basically, I'm going to have my hands full. Although, I will have an amazing team of other leaders to work with.
To top all of that off, I went ahead and applied to be photographer and photo editor for the school newspaper! Today I shot and edited the cover photo for tomorrow's paper. I guess this means I should get around to buying a nicer camera. Ya feel? If I get that job, I'll be even busier with my Tuesdays. I'll have classes all day: 9:45am - 9:30pm. Plus, the paper is put out every Wednesday so I would need to have the pictures edited and sized by then. This is all hoping I get the job. So, keep your fingers crossed!
Despite all I've been involved with, all I've worried about, and all of the homework that I didn't even get to mention, I really am enjoying my college experience. I just hope the next 3 years doesn't go as fast as the first one did.
I feel like my life has been changing so much in these past few months - but definitely for the better.
By the time I graduate, I'll be a pro at organization and responsibility! After all, you have to learn something from an education... Don't you?
Don't be afraid to make yourself busy. And have a great time doing it.
And be careful out there, iPhones shatter easily.
Trying new things has always made me really, really anxious. I hate going to new places without someone I know and I always get nervous talking to new people. This has effected me my entire life so I guess I've gotten used to it.
But I bet you could guess how high my anxiety levels were, moving into college. Completely new people, totally different atmosphere, way more opportunities, and the pressure to get involved in as much as possible. I mean, I only have 4 years at this school. 4 years. is. absolutely. nothing. I can't just sit on my butt all day and not go out and take advantage of the campus while I'm here.
In the fall, I made it my mission to join as many clubs as I could. I signed up to join a lot of different things: InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, photography club, the school radio station, the TV studio, adventure club, student entertainment council, and probably a bunch more that I don't remember off the top of my head.
Unfortunately only a few of those clubs emailed me back, so those were the only ones I really got involved with.
This semester and last I got a job with Bronc Vision. It is almost the perfect job for a communication student like me. We basically shoot, broadcast and control all of the technology behind the basketball games, wresting matches, volleyball matches, etc. Whenever there was a game, I was always busy doing that.
I also helped film a segment for "Backstage Story", a music news program on the school's TV network, called "Alternative Route."
I joined photography club for a day. Then I got an email about the business fraternity needing a photographer for the semester. I'm not really a photographer and my camera isn't really the best but I decided to go for it. Almost every week, on Tuesdays, I spent an hour photographing some professional business person for them--at least I was getting paid, right?
My favorite organization, and probably the only one that, to this day, does not make me feel anxious about, is InterVarsity. Every Wednesday night we have "large group"--a time for us to come together to worship God and hear a short sermon. I also joined a Bible study, lead by one of my friends from high school, on Monday nights. I have done so so so much with the fellowship that I would love to talk about but I shall save that as another post for another day. :) Anyway, starting next year, I was chosen as business coordinator for the fellowship and basically, I'm going to have my hands full. Although, I will have an amazing team of other leaders to work with.
To top all of that off, I went ahead and applied to be photographer and photo editor for the school newspaper! Today I shot and edited the cover photo for tomorrow's paper. I guess this means I should get around to buying a nicer camera. Ya feel? If I get that job, I'll be even busier with my Tuesdays. I'll have classes all day: 9:45am - 9:30pm. Plus, the paper is put out every Wednesday so I would need to have the pictures edited and sized by then. This is all hoping I get the job. So, keep your fingers crossed!
Despite all I've been involved with, all I've worried about, and all of the homework that I didn't even get to mention, I really am enjoying my college experience. I just hope the next 3 years doesn't go as fast as the first one did.
I feel like my life has been changing so much in these past few months - but definitely for the better.
By the time I graduate, I'll be a pro at organization and responsibility! After all, you have to learn something from an education... Don't you?
Don't be afraid to make yourself busy. And have a great time doing it.
And be careful out there, iPhones shatter easily.
Monday, March 31, 2014
The Struggle to Laundry
The thought of doing my own laundry, a couple of months ago, sounded unbearable. I never had to do that. Coming to college, one of the first things I did was scope out the laundry room. Now--I live on the 3rd floor, the top floor. Laundry is in the basement. Not that bad, 4 flights, right? Yeah, no, wrong. Just awful.
I had gotten a mesh-like laundry basket last summer to hold my laundry for the following semester but that quickly turned into a very bad idea. Over time, I saw myself getting lazier and lazier, waiting longer and longer to put loads of laundry in, therefore filling the basket to the top. (It held a lot of clothes). By spring break, the mesh had so many tears and holes in it, I'm surprised it didn't break before my very eyes... I got a new one.
Unfortunately, this one doesn't hold has much as the last. I've only been back to school for about a week and it is already filled to the very top.
That wasn't the only problem with laundry that I had today.
In the basement, there are five washing machines and five dryers. Now, keep in mind, there are three floors in this building, and three different wings. Somehow, five doesn't seem like a reasonable number. Especially when some of them decide to just not work anymore.
Luckily, when I went down today, there was a washer open. I put in my dark clothes, put my bag on top of the machine and left. When I came back down and hour later (the time it usually takes to complete the load), half of the clothes were still dry, the other half was soaking wet, and my tide pod hadn't even disintegrated. I really don't got time for that nonsense. So I ended up sitting there for like 20 minutes after putting in my second load, waiting for the first to be done.
It never finished. So I went to Bible study and prayed it would be be done by the time I came back.
......Nope.
A few girls in the laundry room told me that it was broken and I should just give up. Of course it's broken.
Long sob story short, it took me so much longer than I anticipated just to wash a week's worth of clothing. And the last load I put into the dryer ended up not even drying.
So, currently, I have become very innovative in where and how to hang wet clothes around my room (under my bed, closet, etc). I'm just really glad that process is over (for now).
I love that washing clothes isn't as hard as I was expecting. I don't love the inconvenience of the laundry room. You just can't win in this situation..
Anyway, here's a visual aid for ya. (And the only pictures I have of the laundry room.. feat. some friends)
I had gotten a mesh-like laundry basket last summer to hold my laundry for the following semester but that quickly turned into a very bad idea. Over time, I saw myself getting lazier and lazier, waiting longer and longer to put loads of laundry in, therefore filling the basket to the top. (It held a lot of clothes). By spring break, the mesh had so many tears and holes in it, I'm surprised it didn't break before my very eyes... I got a new one.
Unfortunately, this one doesn't hold has much as the last. I've only been back to school for about a week and it is already filled to the very top.
That wasn't the only problem with laundry that I had today.
In the basement, there are five washing machines and five dryers. Now, keep in mind, there are three floors in this building, and three different wings. Somehow, five doesn't seem like a reasonable number. Especially when some of them decide to just not work anymore.
Luckily, when I went down today, there was a washer open. I put in my dark clothes, put my bag on top of the machine and left. When I came back down and hour later (the time it usually takes to complete the load), half of the clothes were still dry, the other half was soaking wet, and my tide pod hadn't even disintegrated. I really don't got time for that nonsense. So I ended up sitting there for like 20 minutes after putting in my second load, waiting for the first to be done.
It never finished. So I went to Bible study and prayed it would be be done by the time I came back.
......Nope.
A few girls in the laundry room told me that it was broken and I should just give up. Of course it's broken.
Long sob story short, it took me so much longer than I anticipated just to wash a week's worth of clothing. And the last load I put into the dryer ended up not even drying.
So, currently, I have become very innovative in where and how to hang wet clothes around my room (under my bed, closet, etc). I'm just really glad that process is over (for now).
I love that washing clothes isn't as hard as I was expecting. I don't love the inconvenience of the laundry room. You just can't win in this situation..
Anyway, here's a visual aid for ya. (And the only pictures I have of the laundry room.. feat. some friends)
Monday, March 24, 2014
How I Survived Spring Break
Not everyone has a spring break like you see on TV. I didn't go to Miami or have an incredibly active social life. I didn't go to the beach or have any type of vacation at all. But that didn't mean I hated it.
I think I was mentally scarred from winter break. That was a month and a half of utter torture. I did enjoy being home for a few weeks, but after a while I started to really miss living back at school. Because that set me off so much, I didn't think I would enjoy being home for a little over a week in spring. And yet, I survived.
I got to see a lot of my friends over the course of the week and that was really cool - just to be reminded that I have such good friends at home when it feels like I don't have any at school.
I visited my high school with some friends and got to see some of the teachers that really impacted my last 4 years. That was pretty nice.. And no, my old locker combination didn't work on my old locker. Darn. It was also really cool to hear about my high school friends' college journeys and how we're all getting through this together.
During most of the week, both of my parents worked and both of my younger siblings were at school. The house got pretty lonely. But at least I had Keeping up with the Kardashians to keep me company for a little bit. I can't say I didn't like the silence though. It was nice to literally do nothing after being so, so busy with school. I found it quite easy to occupy my time with things to do that kept me content and happy.
I discovered cross-stitching and thought it was pretty rad so I decided to try it for myself. After stitching a few pictures inspired by Miley Cyrus' Bangerz Tour, I liked it so much, I wanted to put it on a purse. I cut up an old denim bag from middle school, rekindled with my old sewing skills, and pulled together a quick little sling bag. I'm pretty proud of the way it turned out.
I think I was mentally scarred from winter break. That was a month and a half of utter torture. I did enjoy being home for a few weeks, but after a while I started to really miss living back at school. Because that set me off so much, I didn't think I would enjoy being home for a little over a week in spring. And yet, I survived.
I got to see a lot of my friends over the course of the week and that was really cool - just to be reminded that I have such good friends at home when it feels like I don't have any at school.
I visited my high school with some friends and got to see some of the teachers that really impacted my last 4 years. That was pretty nice.. And no, my old locker combination didn't work on my old locker. Darn. It was also really cool to hear about my high school friends' college journeys and how we're all getting through this together.
During most of the week, both of my parents worked and both of my younger siblings were at school. The house got pretty lonely. But at least I had Keeping up with the Kardashians to keep me company for a little bit. I can't say I didn't like the silence though. It was nice to literally do nothing after being so, so busy with school. I found it quite easy to occupy my time with things to do that kept me content and happy.
I discovered cross-stitching and thought it was pretty rad so I decided to try it for myself. After stitching a few pictures inspired by Miley Cyrus' Bangerz Tour, I liked it so much, I wanted to put it on a purse. I cut up an old denim bag from middle school, rekindled with my old sewing skills, and pulled together a quick little sling bag. I'm pretty proud of the way it turned out.
(Pictured - front & back)
This past weekend was definitely the best part of break, though. My favorite band (Paradise Fears) was playing at TCNJ--just a few minutes down the road from my college. Of course, I was on break so I had to make the hour drive up to the show but I still think it was worth it. I got to spend the night with a few of my really good friends. Hardly anyone had ever heard of PF at the show and there were around 30 people actually there. I sat with 3 of my friends at a table in front of the stage and sang along to every song. It was really a cool experience.
The next day, I saw PF again, but this time on the last show of their tour (Battle Scars Acoustic & in the Round). Since the stage they played on was circular and in the middle of the crowd, I had Sam's (the singer) butt in my face the whole time. It was kind of hard to get into the music since I almost punched him like 17 times in one song. They played a brand new song that they hadn't played at any other show and they also passed out 200 cupcakes as a way to make the concert experience really special. As always, the show was phenomenal.
Talking to the band after the show is always a pleasure. They're 6 of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. Michael (keyboard) remembered me by my Twitter handle and we had a lovely conversation about sunshine and blaming things on me. Jordan (guitar) recalled seeing us the night before and called me Emily because he read it on my necklace, not because he remembered. Sam was mobbed by people as always but he's still one of my favorite people to talk to. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to talk to Marcus (bass) and had to rush with Lucas (drums) and Cole (guitar) but I still got a bunch of great pictures.
That show definitely ended my spring break on a positive note.
Yesterday (Sunday), was my sister's 16th birthday so we celebrated with Red Lobster. Then I was shipped back off to Rider to commence with classes again, today.
I definitely wouldn't have complained if I had had another week of break back at home to do absolutely nothing (especially to recover from a great weekend). But, of course not. It was still a great break and I'm glad it happened when it did. : )
To close, here are most of (actually, practically all of) my pictures from Saturday.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
How to Survive Midterms...
It's that time of the semester again. Although spring break is starting tomorrow, don't get too comfortable. One of the two tests that us college students dread all semester is coming up: Midterms.
I had my first one last Tuesday (History) and my second one today (Sociology). They both weren't that awful, which is surprising. It's only really intimidating and stressful because a lot of classes only have 2-3 test grades the entire semester. Like, that sounds like a ton of pressure. I'm paying for these classes! Cut me some slack!
Last semester, I took a "World History to 1500" course and I totally thought I was going to blow my brain up because me and history don't really get along. I didn't do so well on the first test but it was a learning experience. Then I pulled a B+ on the midterm after studying for a week straight, every single day... Usually sitting at Starbucks. That gave me a lot of hope. My professor expected a lot from us and I felt like I finally delivered. (I ended up with an A on the final, whut).I even decided that I kind of enjoyed that class quite a lot.
The great part is, a lot of my classes don't have cumulative tests.. so the information I studied for on the midterm won't even be on the final. I can push all of that out of my head and never have to remember it again right?! Well, yes, but I end up remembering it anyway. Is this what learning feels like?
Anyway, I got back my history midterm today and.. yikes. I didn't quite get that B+ like last semester. The only time I really studied was the night before with three other people from my class. We sat in one of the dorm lounges for like, five hours, going over everything. Or maybe it's because, in the essay part, I wrote "the struggle for Indian goods was so real." He circled that sentence and wrote "what does this mean?" I don't think he appreciates modern day slang very much. Either way, as soon as I pass this class, I'll be done with history FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
The Sociological Imagination midterm I took today was actually a joke. Crying over this class with my roommate, Delaney, has become a weekly thing and we were insanely nervous to take this test. My professor makes us do these weird online test things every week and they're the hardest, most irrelevant things in the world. So, of course, we thought the midterm would be literal hell.
Spoiler alert: it wasn't.
Luckily, Delaney is in the class before me, so she was able to tell me what was on the test before I took it. Somehow, I still feel like I would have left that test very confident if she hadn't.
Midterms (or, any tests for that matter) are a lot less scary if you tell yourself you know what you're doing.
As far as my other classes go, the only one I should be really worried about is Spanish. The only test grade we've had so far was a take-home test. That's probably the only reason I didn't fail.
If there's one thing I've learned so far from this whole "college" thing, it's that studying doesn't have to be painful. Go grab your laptop and head to Starbucks. Or the library. Study with friends. Make flash cards. Color code your notes (if you're into that stuff). Find a place that makes you feel comfortable and study there. It doesn't have to be your 10 x 11 foot dorm room. Most academic buildings are open for student use all day long--take full advantage of that.
Going into studying with the mindset that you are going to fail is not helping you. It's hurting you. So stop that.
So grab your favorite Starbucks drink and get to reading!
I had my first one last Tuesday (History) and my second one today (Sociology). They both weren't that awful, which is surprising. It's only really intimidating and stressful because a lot of classes only have 2-3 test grades the entire semester. Like, that sounds like a ton of pressure. I'm paying for these classes! Cut me some slack!
Last semester, I took a "World History to 1500" course and I totally thought I was going to blow my brain up because me and history don't really get along. I didn't do so well on the first test but it was a learning experience. Then I pulled a B+ on the midterm after studying for a week straight, every single day... Usually sitting at Starbucks. That gave me a lot of hope. My professor expected a lot from us and I felt like I finally delivered. (I ended up with an A on the final, whut).
The great part is, a lot of my classes don't have cumulative tests.. so the information I studied for on the midterm won't even be on the final. I can push all of that out of my head and never have to remember it again right?! Well, yes, but I end up remembering it anyway. Is this what learning feels like?
Anyway, I got back my history midterm today and.. yikes. I didn't quite get that B+ like last semester. The only time I really studied was the night before with three other people from my class. We sat in one of the dorm lounges for like, five hours, going over everything. Or maybe it's because, in the essay part, I wrote "the struggle for Indian goods was so real." He circled that sentence and wrote "what does this mean?" I don't think he appreciates modern day slang very much. Either way, as soon as I pass this class, I'll be done with history FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
The Sociological Imagination midterm I took today was actually a joke. Crying over this class with my roommate, Delaney, has become a weekly thing and we were insanely nervous to take this test. My professor makes us do these weird online test things every week and they're the hardest, most irrelevant things in the world. So, of course, we thought the midterm would be literal hell.
Spoiler alert: it wasn't.
Luckily, Delaney is in the class before me, so she was able to tell me what was on the test before I took it. Somehow, I still feel like I would have left that test very confident if she hadn't.
Midterms (or, any tests for that matter) are a lot less scary if you tell yourself you know what you're doing.
As far as my other classes go, the only one I should be really worried about is Spanish. The only test grade we've had so far was a take-home test. That's probably the only reason I didn't fail.
If there's one thing I've learned so far from this whole "college" thing, it's that studying doesn't have to be painful. Go grab your laptop and head to Starbucks. Or the library. Study with friends. Make flash cards. Color code your notes (if you're into that stuff). Find a place that makes you feel comfortable and study there. It doesn't have to be your 10 x 11 foot dorm room. Most academic buildings are open for student use all day long--take full advantage of that.
Going into studying with the mindset that you are going to fail is not helping you. It's hurting you. So stop that.
So grab your favorite Starbucks drink and get to reading!
P.s. I have to share this great story with you. So today Delaney tweeted about go to the health center and I was like "what". So I texted her, you know, like any concerned friend would do. She texted back like, an hour later with "I got bit by something"....... I'm sorry what. Anyway, when she comes back to the room, she shows me her hand and yeah.. ouch. Something definitely bit her and it started spreading down her arm.
My roommate may or may not wake up tomorrow as the next spiderman. I'll keep you all updated.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Advising
Kind of like having a guidance counselor in high school that you are forced to talk to every now and then, we have something similar for college. Except, they don't have to listen to your problems, or care about you in the slightest way, for that matter. This person that you are assigned to is a professor in your department of study that you may or may not have in your four years. He or she is your "advisor". Basically, the only time you will ever see them is the week before you have to schedule classes for the following semester. After this 15 minute (or less) meeting with your advisor, they will "greenlight" you--meaning, you are ready and eligible to pick next semester's classes when your time comes (usually at 7 a.m. on a random day of the week--yay). There's no avoiding this encounter. Everyone has to do it.
Of course, as a first semester freshman, I was terrified. Because, with my luck, I would be stuck with that man who doesn't speak English and doesn't know how to answer my questions or forgets about my appointments and doesn't show up. This person is supposed to help me map out my future. That's like, a lot of pressure.
Last semester I met with mine for the first time. Just as I expected, he didn't speak English very well. And he sat on the phone for like 10 minutes, as I sat awkwardly staring at his animal sculptures and paintings around the office, before deciding to deal with me.
The rest of our time went, surprisingly, very smoothly. He was extremely helpful to me and answered all of my questions perfectly even in my desperate state of freshman naivety. That took a huge weight off of my shoulders.
Today, I met with him again to schedule for Fall 2014. It was great. Being the oh-so-wonderfully-prepared-and-organized human that I am, I created a schedule with all of the classes I would like to take next semester in a nice little word document table. He loved it. I think I surprised him with how prepared I was.
He told me that I shouldn't have a problem getting into any of these classes (as I did the semester before) and that made me feel pretty darn good. The only problem I might have is with the night class I plan on taking--Fundamentals of Video Production. That's a little weird though. It's a night class. I didn't think anyone still took those.
Either way, if all works out, I'll only have one class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday! The thought of that freaked me out at first because I'd have 4 classes on Tuesday and 3 on Thursday. Talk about being busy. But my advisor proceeded to tell me how he loves teaching every other day and getting it all over with. That gives him a lot of time to get a lot of work done on the days he doesn't have much to do. His words were really comforting and made me feel so much better about the situation. I just realized that I really like helpful, supportive people.
We talked for a while about my minor (Spanish) even though he is only there to discuss my major (Communications) which was kind of awesome. Being a freshman placed in Spanish 3 is rare and he was really interested in knowing why I am so good at it... I'm not though. Any doubts that I had about keeping my minor were gone after that conversation. If you're good at something, and you enjoy it (even only a little bit) then go for it. He said he was going to tell his daughter about me because she is considering AP Spanish next year at her high school. That was pretty awesome. I felt kind of important.
While all of my friends and everyone I talk to is busy complaining about how lazy and useless their advisor is, I can be happy knowing that I actually (for once in my life) lucked out.
Be nice to people. They'll appreciate it.
P.S. Look how rad my campus looks covered in snow!!
Of course, as a first semester freshman, I was terrified. Because, with my luck, I would be stuck with that man who doesn't speak English and doesn't know how to answer my questions or forgets about my appointments and doesn't show up. This person is supposed to help me map out my future. That's like, a lot of pressure.
Last semester I met with mine for the first time. Just as I expected, he didn't speak English very well. And he sat on the phone for like 10 minutes, as I sat awkwardly staring at his animal sculptures and paintings around the office, before deciding to deal with me.
The rest of our time went, surprisingly, very smoothly. He was extremely helpful to me and answered all of my questions perfectly even in my desperate state of freshman naivety. That took a huge weight off of my shoulders.
Today, I met with him again to schedule for Fall 2014. It was great. Being the oh-so-wonderfully-prepared-and-organized human that I am, I created a schedule with all of the classes I would like to take next semester in a nice little word document table. He loved it. I think I surprised him with how prepared I was.
He told me that I shouldn't have a problem getting into any of these classes (as I did the semester before) and that made me feel pretty darn good. The only problem I might have is with the night class I plan on taking--Fundamentals of Video Production. That's a little weird though. It's a night class. I didn't think anyone still took those.
Either way, if all works out, I'll only have one class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday! The thought of that freaked me out at first because I'd have 4 classes on Tuesday and 3 on Thursday. Talk about being busy. But my advisor proceeded to tell me how he loves teaching every other day and getting it all over with. That gives him a lot of time to get a lot of work done on the days he doesn't have much to do. His words were really comforting and made me feel so much better about the situation. I just realized that I really like helpful, supportive people.
We talked for a while about my minor (Spanish) even though he is only there to discuss my major (Communications) which was kind of awesome. Being a freshman placed in Spanish 3 is rare and he was really interested in knowing why I am so good at it...
While all of my friends and everyone I talk to is busy complaining about how lazy and useless their advisor is, I can be happy knowing that I actually (for once in my life) lucked out.
Be nice to people. They'll appreciate it.
P.S. Look how rad my campus looks covered in snow!!
Monday, March 10, 2014
Undecided
In high school I honestly never thought I was going to find something in college that I enjoyed. I was never really good at any subject in school. But I did like math. Being one of the very few people in the entire world to actually really enjoy calculus, I kind of decided I should be an accountant. Yes, that was my logic. Then the fear of hating my job, and my life, after graduating was always in the back of my head. That quickly became a big fat no for me. I swapped between lawyer, algebra teacher, marine biologist and chemistry every single day. I was just confused.
How could I take what I'm actually good at and do it?
I applied to two schools--both as an undeclared major. I was undeclared up until the day I attended "admitted students day" with my mom at the school I currently attend. We were sitting in the chairs under the "liberal arts majors" sign. All of the other schools (business, sciences, etc) were all grouped together, and then there was me--a reject. As they called each of the groups to go tour their department, I was desperately searching for something that sounded interesting to me. I didn't want to graduate college with a degree in liberal arts. That didn't sound appealing to me.
Finally, the announcer called for the communications department. I never knew what communications was, exactly. That's why I never ever considered it. My mom was the one to speak up and suggest we follow that tour. Since I don't exactly excel in the math or sciences, a more creative, technological route is the one I should be taking.
They brought us to the Fine Arts building for a tour of where we would be taking a majority of our classes for the next four years. The final stop on the tour was the TV studio. I don't know why but I fell in love. It's not a huge studio--the group (of maybe 10 people) I took the tour with barely fit into the control room. I think I loved how much everyone around me loved it. Or maybe it was because every college I had toured, I didn't bother looking at their communications department since I still hadn't a clue what I was doing. But I did think this one was special.
Just as a little back story, I almost didn't even tour this school in the first place. Carrie Underwood forced me to. Yup. Carrie Underwood. My church youth group was taking a college road trip to a bunch of really cool Christian colleges on the east coast and I wanted to go so bad. If I did, however, I would miss a Carrie Underwood concert that I was attending while they were gone. I don't know why I chose to go to the concert instead, honestly. But I did. And since I wasn't going to be looking at colleges with them, my dad thought it was only fair that I tour Rider University. I knew it was a mad expensive, private college and that was about it. I don't think he ever intended on me actually liking it (I rejected about 80% of the colleges I looked at, as soon as I toured them)--it was just to get a feel for the tiny, private school atmosphere. Well, I walked off that campus highly considering applying. And so, I did. Why not, right?
Anyway, picking from two schools was really, really hard for me. One is commuting distance from my house and the other is about an hour away. I wanted to live on campus, that was for sure. I just wasn't sure how close I wanted to be. Plus, I had already fallen in love with one of them.
Something in the back of my head always told me Rider was the right choice but it felt like everyone and everything around me was pointing in the opposite direction. Of course, I went with my gut--this was a huge risk for me. I felt like I was letting everyone down for not choosing what seemed more logical at the moment--less expensive, closer to home, larger student body, you name it.
Even today, Rider just feels right for me. I'm not sure where I got the feeling from in the first place but when I knew, I knew. And I wasn't going to let anyone change my mind.
Over the summer I sent in the email to the admissions department to change my major. I'm a "Communication Studies" major (with a minor in Spanish). This means I chose a major, but I didn't choose a major. There are so many things about this department that I love that I haven't chose a specific one yet (journalism, public relations, radio/ tv, graphic design, etc). That's a lot further ahead than I was this time last year, for sure.
I love my school. It's been a tough adjustment and I didn't exactly get the grades I was hoping for in my first semester, but I think I'm finally getting the hang of it.
I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else.
Here's a picture of me and my rad roomie, Delaney!!!!
How could I take what I'm actually good at and do it?
I applied to two schools--both as an undeclared major. I was undeclared up until the day I attended "admitted students day" with my mom at the school I currently attend. We were sitting in the chairs under the "liberal arts majors" sign. All of the other schools (business, sciences, etc) were all grouped together, and then there was me--a reject. As they called each of the groups to go tour their department, I was desperately searching for something that sounded interesting to me. I didn't want to graduate college with a degree in liberal arts. That didn't sound appealing to me.
Finally, the announcer called for the communications department. I never knew what communications was, exactly. That's why I never ever considered it. My mom was the one to speak up and suggest we follow that tour. Since I don't exactly excel in the math or sciences, a more creative, technological route is the one I should be taking.
They brought us to the Fine Arts building for a tour of where we would be taking a majority of our classes for the next four years. The final stop on the tour was the TV studio. I don't know why but I fell in love. It's not a huge studio--the group (of maybe 10 people) I took the tour with barely fit into the control room. I think I loved how much everyone around me loved it. Or maybe it was because every college I had toured, I didn't bother looking at their communications department since I still hadn't a clue what I was doing. But I did think this one was special.
Just as a little back story, I almost didn't even tour this school in the first place. Carrie Underwood forced me to. Yup. Carrie Underwood. My church youth group was taking a college road trip to a bunch of really cool Christian colleges on the east coast and I wanted to go so bad. If I did, however, I would miss a Carrie Underwood concert that I was attending while they were gone. I don't know why I chose to go to the concert instead, honestly. But I did. And since I wasn't going to be looking at colleges with them, my dad thought it was only fair that I tour Rider University. I knew it was a mad expensive, private college and that was about it. I don't think he ever intended on me actually liking it (I rejected about 80% of the colleges I looked at, as soon as I toured them)--it was just to get a feel for the tiny, private school atmosphere. Well, I walked off that campus highly considering applying. And so, I did. Why not, right?
Anyway, picking from two schools was really, really hard for me. One is commuting distance from my house and the other is about an hour away. I wanted to live on campus, that was for sure. I just wasn't sure how close I wanted to be. Plus, I had already fallen in love with one of them.
Something in the back of my head always told me Rider was the right choice but it felt like everyone and everything around me was pointing in the opposite direction. Of course, I went with my gut--this was a huge risk for me. I felt like I was letting everyone down for not choosing what seemed more logical at the moment--less expensive, closer to home, larger student body, you name it.
Even today, Rider just feels right for me. I'm not sure where I got the feeling from in the first place but when I knew, I knew. And I wasn't going to let anyone change my mind.
Over the summer I sent in the email to the admissions department to change my major. I'm a "Communication Studies" major (with a minor in Spanish). This means I chose a major, but I didn't choose a major. There are so many things about this department that I love that I haven't chose a specific one yet (journalism, public relations, radio/ tv, graphic design, etc). That's a lot further ahead than I was this time last year, for sure.
I love my school. It's been a tough adjustment and I didn't exactly get the grades I was hoping for in my first semester, but I think I'm finally getting the hang of it.
I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else.
Here's a picture of me and my rad roomie, Delaney!!!!
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Homework?
It's a Sunday night, 7:18 p.m., exactly. I have nothing to do. Delaney left to work on homework. I finished all of mine. For the first time I think, in the history of my existence, I have no homework to do on a Sunday night before 11 p.m.
I wrote 4/5 pages on my 2nd paper for the semester yesterday, sitting in one of the academic buildings for hours and hours. I wrote the final page today and it feels pretty darn good. Last time I handed in a paper for that class, it took me the entire weekend up until at least 11:58 p.m. on Sunday night. But I did get a B- on it. He's supposedly a really, really tough grader - so that's good I guess.
I also finished my media writing class, usually something that keeps me up all night. It's all about writing news releases. I love that kind of stuff, it's just stressful to be graded on it. Especially when she expects us to email her the homework before class in the morning.
My third and final class on Mondays is Spanish. I shouldn't hate it. But I do. Spanish my minor. I am realizing more every class that maybe this was a really bad decision. It's just really hard and time consuming. I feel completely lost during every class. Not to mention, it's an hour and a half long. Thank God it's only twice a week. So yeah, I probably have some sort of homework for that class, but I never do it. It's not necessary. We usually just go over it in class while I cry internally and promise myself I'm going to drop the class as soon as I get back to my dorm... Haha. Not a chance.
Then, of course, there is Sociological Imagination. It's a weird title for a class, right? Yeah, it's basically just a fancy way of saying Sociology. I've accepted it. But anyway, I have a midterm on Thursday. So there's that that I should be studying for. But my professor isn't handing out the study guide until Tuesday. Good thing I went to SI (Supplemental Instruction - It's basically like extra help/ tutoring for a specific class). He gave our SI leader the study guide. There was only 5 of us who showed up. It's not very helpful though. It's a little too broad and I don't know how I'm going to study everything off of there by Thursday. But, ya know.
I'll start studying tomorrow. ;)
I guess I'll go waste away my life on photoshop until I pass out. Peace.
Also, here. Have this picture of me, Sam Miller and two of my best friends, Alex and Megan. Because I get to see at least one of them in a few days :-)
I wrote 4/5 pages on my 2nd paper for the semester yesterday, sitting in one of the academic buildings for hours and hours. I wrote the final page today and it feels pretty darn good. Last time I handed in a paper for that class, it took me the entire weekend up until at least 11:58 p.m. on Sunday night. But I did get a B- on it. He's supposedly a really, really tough grader - so that's good I guess.
I also finished my media writing class, usually something that keeps me up all night. It's all about writing news releases. I love that kind of stuff, it's just stressful to be graded on it. Especially when she expects us to email her the homework before class in the morning.
My third and final class on Mondays is Spanish. I shouldn't hate it. But I do. Spanish my minor. I am realizing more every class that maybe this was a really bad decision. It's just really hard and time consuming. I feel completely lost during every class. Not to mention, it's an hour and a half long. Thank God it's only twice a week. So yeah, I probably have some sort of homework for that class, but I never do it. It's not necessary. We usually just go over it in class while I cry internally and promise myself I'm going to drop the class as soon as I get back to my dorm... Haha. Not a chance.
Then, of course, there is Sociological Imagination. It's a weird title for a class, right? Yeah, it's basically just a fancy way of saying Sociology. I've accepted it. But anyway, I have a midterm on Thursday. So there's that that I should be studying for. But my professor isn't handing out the study guide until Tuesday. Good thing I went to SI (Supplemental Instruction - It's basically like extra help/ tutoring for a specific class). He gave our SI leader the study guide. There was only 5 of us who showed up. It's not very helpful though. It's a little too broad and I don't know how I'm going to study everything off of there by Thursday. But, ya know.
I'll start studying tomorrow. ;)
I guess I'll go waste away my life on photoshop until I pass out. Peace.
Also, here. Have this picture of me, Sam Miller and two of my best friends, Alex and Megan. Because I get to see at least one of them in a few days :-)
Friday, March 7, 2014
Hello world.
So I decided to try this whole blog thing because why not.
I mean I guess I've always liked writing and I guess I've always been kind of good at it but now I want to start writing about what I want to write about.
Starting college in September was a huge change for me and now I've decided that I should start to document the experiences while I can.
My first semester moved a whole lot faster than I was expecting. I don't want the rest to slip away so easily. So here it goes. Welcome to my brain. For the next four years--and on. Hopefully.
Here goes nothing.
Thank you for reading.
- Emily
p.s. here's a picture of me and my roommate, Delaney, having a blast at the Oscar's. Enjoy.
I mean I guess I've always liked writing and I guess I've always been kind of good at it but now I want to start writing about what I want to write about.
Starting college in September was a huge change for me and now I've decided that I should start to document the experiences while I can.
My first semester moved a whole lot faster than I was expecting. I don't want the rest to slip away so easily. So here it goes. Welcome to my brain. For the next four years--and on. Hopefully.
Here goes nothing.
Thank you for reading.
- Emily
p.s. here's a picture of me and my roommate, Delaney, having a blast at the Oscar's. Enjoy.
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